Take Me Out to The Ballgame- Alaska Traveler
November 23rd, 2008Take Me Out to The Ballgame- Alaska Traveler
Written by Sherry Simpson
November 2008
It was the bottom of the first inning by the time we found the entrance to Mulcahy Baseball Stadium in Anchorage.
We’re late,” I told my husband.
“That just means we missed everyone mumbling their way through the Star-Spangled Banner,” Scott said.
“But that’s what I came for,” I said. Little things count when you’re auditioning a sports team. Can your fellow fans carry a tune? Do the players have fire in their bellies? Is it from a passion to win or from the hot dogs? Speaking of which, what kind of snacks do they sell?
I’m not much of a sports fan, but the older I get, the more I need a team. I never had a team growing up in Juneau. Not only did Alaska lack teams, but television arrived on tape and two weeks late. My childhood was one long news embargo designed to keep my father from accidentally learning the outcome of any game before he could see it on TV.
Our families have long since outsourced their loyalties to Seattle’s Mariners and Seahawks. Scott and I aren’t much for sports, but we do have one team: The Canterbury Crusaders of Christchurch, New Zealand. The Crusaders won the only professional sports event I’ve ever attended, a rugby game during which the action on the field competed with the action in the stands. This is not surprising when fans arrive with 12-packs of beer tucked under each arm. I don’t understand the first thing about rugby, but it’s a fantastically entertaining sport, despite the fact that my team plays 6,800 miles away and I’ve yet to attend a second game.
This year I thought I’d hold auditions for a new team, an Alaska team. Other people have teams so they’ll have some place specific to channel overwhelming feelings of futility, hostility or despair by hating incompetent coaches, flawed heroes and corrupt owners, interrupted briefly by moments of transcendent joy that bear absolutely no relationship to their worthiness as fans, but for which they’ll happily take all credit.
We decided to audition the Anchorage Bucs, one of six teams in the Alaska Baseball League, which fields top collegiate players from across the United States. Alaskans have been playing organized baseball for more than a hundred years in mining camps, villages and towns, possibly because there’s nothing more cool than playing at midnight on the solstice. Since the 1960s, almost 400 ABL players have entered the majors, including Randy Johnson, Mark McGwire, Dave Winfield and Tom Seaver. (I looked that up.)
I also looked up footage from a 2003 Bucs vs. Fairbanks Goldpanners game during which a Cessna Skywagon crashed into the left-field fence. Amazingly, only two of the four passengers received minor-ish injuries. Not so the Bucs—the game resumed 47 minutes later (Goldpanners 10, Bucs 2).
The day we chose to attend a game was Fan Appreciation Day at Mulcahy Stadium, and admission was free. About three hundred people were there being appreciated. True fans brought comfy bucket seats from which they tracked stats and cheered players by name. I gave it a try.
“C’mon … dude,” I yelled. “Batter, batter, batter.”
Scott looked at me curiously. “Do you even know how read the scoreboard?”
“Yes,” I lied.
People from United Way wandered through distributing key chains, plastic water bottles, yo-yos, and T-shirts. Wondering why I didn’t get a water bottle occupied me for the third and fourth innings. The cheerful hijinks of Beekmin the mascot might have vanquished my disappointment, but no giant parrot appeared.
“Where’s Beekmin?” I asked.
“Parrots don’t like to work in the cold,” Scott said. It had yet to break 60, making me one of the few people in America wearing fleece to a baseball game that day.
Watching baseball was a lot like watching television—I needed someone to pay attention to the game while I did other things. Bucs fans were interesting people—little old ladies in matching hats, families that had biked to the game, a man who helped me interpret the game by yelling things like, “That’s trouble, that’s trouble.”
My neighbor’s nachos had attracted my interest when the stadium made a collective “Oooh” sound. I looked up to see a batter limping around.
“What happened?” I asked.
“The batter fouled the ball off his own foot,” Scott said. “Walk it off. That’s what it’s all about. Sometimes you got to man up and walk it off.” His voice dropped. “Unless your wife is there, in which case she’ll yell at you.”
I was noting down this inspirational speech when Scott asked, “Is this going to be another one of those ‘make-fun-of-my-husband’ columns?”
“Let’s see how it goes,” I said.
Suddenly it was top of the fourth, 1-0 Miners.
“When nothing happens, baseball goes pretty fast,” I mentioned.
“It’s good to get those runs out of the way early,” Scott agreed.
Nothing much continued happening for a few innings.
“Was that a sacrifice bunt?” I’d ask.
“Yes.”
“Was that a ball?”
“No, when the umpire points it’s a strike.”
“Did they have onion rings at the food stand?”
“I didn’t notice.”
“What happened?”
“There was a kerfuffle.”
“What happened that time?”
“He tried to steal third and got thrown out.”
“Don’t they have cheerleaders?”
“No.”
“What time does the plane crash happen?” I asked.
By the sixth inning, we’d scored but still lagged 1-3. Also, the girl selling 50-50 tickets hadn’t returned, and I still hadn’t won any drawings for gift certificates. We ate nachos with an alarmingly colored, cheese-like sauce. Three boys raced the bases between innings, but it wasn’t clear whether they were being rewarded or punished. Two Mat-Su players clocking their pitcher’s ball speed let a kid play with the radar gun. The announcer announced that it was someone’s birthday, and those nice United Way people delivered a cake to a true fan, who shared it with everyone around her. It was fun being a fan.
In the seventh our pitcher threw two consecutive strikeouts. Apparently we’d scored another run some time. Things were looking up, until they weren’t. Top of the eighth, the score was 4-2. Then 5-2. In the ninth, the Miners scored. I looked away, and bam, another run.
“We’re going to lose, aren’t we?” I asked Scott.
“Of course we are. We’re here. We are death to sports.”
I remembered then why I don’t have a team. It’s because they always lose, except for the Crusaders, who never once failed me during the one game I’d seen.
The Bucs lost. But I discovered that having a team isn’t about winning, especially when you lose. Probably it’s about getting an autograph from a future big leaguer. Keeping your eyes peeled for plane crashes. Playing under the midnight sun. Winning free loot.
Or maybe it’s about mascots. If I could make one teensy suggestion to my future team, the Bucs, it would be to ditch the parrot. I’m going to need a mascot who’s committed to giving 110 percent to the game. The way I am.
-Sherry Simpson teaches creative writing at the University of Alaska Anchorage and is the author of The Accidental Explorer: Wayfinding in Alaska, and The Way Winter Comes: Alaska Stories, both published by Sasquatch Books.
